Yes..I said it...you are beautiful. I think that most people become very uncomfortable with loving themselves. Today I had the opportunity to work with a woman who everyone thought was so successful. She worked very hard, raised 3 kids on her own after her husband passed away. Her kids are thriving. She was an RN for most of her kids lives, but decided to go back to school and get her Masters degree. Which she did...very successfully. She taught afterwards but still wasnt satisfied with her life. So, to make herself "better" she went back to school, while raising those thriving 3 kids, working a full time job and a part time job, and is now a Physicians Assistant. "Well Done" one might say. But as I got to know this woman I realized how lost and lonely she was. We ended up sitting there chatting for at least 45 minutes. She let on to why she wasnt satisified about her life. You see, she was brought up to believe she wasnt good enough, or pretty enough, or deserving enough. How sad is that? There she was sitting in front of me, tears in her eyes and wondering why she felt so bad about herself.
After about 15 minutes worth of coaching and swaping email addresses and talking about fees I could see that this woman still has hope.
You see my friends, take a good look at yourself everyday. If there is something that YOU dont like..fix it...and I mean YOU. The only opinion about YOU that matters is YOURS. Get comfortable being YOU. Learn to love YOU. Change your language about YOU.
I will help this very unsuccessful successful woman find herself....and then love herself.....and realize that ....
She is Beautiful!
What about YOU?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
What are you? Are you a Victim? Are you a Survivor?? Are you a VICTOR??
It's always interesting to me to see how our language can dictate who we are and what decisions we make in life.
You all know my story....Raped at a very young age, 10 years of domestic violence, terribly low self esteem....now you all might at this point be saying...oh you poor dear....but I ask you not to....but to listen and maybe apply this to your own life. But before I begin I will tell you about my patient,....of course....
Beautiful woman....she comes in for her yearly mammogram. She began by praising her surgeon. She says to me ...not only is he good looking, but he did a fantastic job on my breasts. She had had breast cancer a few years back. She looked at me and said, "yes, I am a cancer survivor." What I noticed just then was a glazed look coming over her face. This vibrant woman who three minutes before had boasted about how wonderful her surgeon was is now changing her tune to grief. She told me her story and that how grateful she was for her husband, how he had been by her side to the end...."To the END???" My head was spinning at this point. But I let her continue. She also told me of how she was so grateful for her boss, that her boss had been there for her too. And with that she continued on to tell me how the tables had turned and that her boss had faced cancer some years after her own cancer. Unfortunately, she lost her boss. She told me that she remembered asking her boss when she was dealing with her own cancer why God had given her cancer.
I couldnt take it any more!!!! I looked at my patient....held her shoulders and said...."I know why you had cancer". I also told her of my story...albeit not cancer, its still a story. She looked at me very puzzled and I told her....."I am only telling you this because we all have a story. I have a story, you have a story and your boss had a story. Its what you chose to do with that story that makes a difference."
She still looked perplexed. I asked her, "What are you?" Are you a Victim? Are you a Survivor? or ...are you a Victor.
This is when I saw a huge shift to take place in this beautiful woman. She said to me, "Well, when you put it like that, I am a Victor." How beautiful is that!!!!! But she didnt stop there...she went on to say..."now I realize why God gave me Cancer. I needed to be someone elses gaurdian angel."
With that, she hugged me and went on her way.
So I say to you, think about your language my friends. What you say may dictate your behaviour...I chose a long time ago to be a Victor....no longer am I a victim or a survivor....I am a Victor...
What about you? What are you?
You all know my story....Raped at a very young age, 10 years of domestic violence, terribly low self esteem....now you all might at this point be saying...oh you poor dear....but I ask you not to....but to listen and maybe apply this to your own life. But before I begin I will tell you about my patient,....of course....
Beautiful woman....she comes in for her yearly mammogram. She began by praising her surgeon. She says to me ...not only is he good looking, but he did a fantastic job on my breasts. She had had breast cancer a few years back. She looked at me and said, "yes, I am a cancer survivor." What I noticed just then was a glazed look coming over her face. This vibrant woman who three minutes before had boasted about how wonderful her surgeon was is now changing her tune to grief. She told me her story and that how grateful she was for her husband, how he had been by her side to the end...."To the END???" My head was spinning at this point. But I let her continue. She also told me of how she was so grateful for her boss, that her boss had been there for her too. And with that she continued on to tell me how the tables had turned and that her boss had faced cancer some years after her own cancer. Unfortunately, she lost her boss. She told me that she remembered asking her boss when she was dealing with her own cancer why God had given her cancer.
I couldnt take it any more!!!! I looked at my patient....held her shoulders and said...."I know why you had cancer". I also told her of my story...albeit not cancer, its still a story. She looked at me very puzzled and I told her....."I am only telling you this because we all have a story. I have a story, you have a story and your boss had a story. Its what you chose to do with that story that makes a difference."
She still looked perplexed. I asked her, "What are you?" Are you a Victim? Are you a Survivor? or ...are you a Victor.
This is when I saw a huge shift to take place in this beautiful woman. She said to me, "Well, when you put it like that, I am a Victor." How beautiful is that!!!!! But she didnt stop there...she went on to say..."now I realize why God gave me Cancer. I needed to be someone elses gaurdian angel."
With that, she hugged me and went on her way.
So I say to you, think about your language my friends. What you say may dictate your behaviour...I chose a long time ago to be a Victor....no longer am I a victim or a survivor....I am a Victor...
What about you? What are you?
Being Grateful ~ Another story to share
So as we come closer to the holiday where we sit and reflect on what we are grateful for I think about the patient that I had the honor of xraying today. Its is a very sad story....actually made me want to cry.
I asked Charles (name changed because of HIPPA laws) how he was today.....with a big smile on his face Charles said to me..."as good as can be expected". Here he was...and 80 year old man shining without even knowing tha the was. I asked him what brought him to the doctor...he laughed and said the bus! I chuckled. I love the spirit and humor that comes with age. But then he continued....."you know, I was perfectly fine until I moved from Florida." I asked when was that....he said..."when my wife died..." "I am so sorry that you lost your wife...how long ago was that?" I asked. "At the beginning of the year."
My heart sank. I could feel his pain. A sense of dread came over me...I knew what was next. He told me that his daughter made him move to Pennsylvania. Declaring that he was not able to take care of himself. Now remember, this is a man that was able to get on the bus by himself, dress himself, cook for himself etc. But the daughter, with all good intentions, told him he could not take care of himself.
Now Charles went on....."Yes..I have a son and grandchildren in Florida". I asked "When will you be visiting then?"
Thats when he said what I knew he was going to say....."NEVER"....My heart broke. Charles has given up. He was told that he was unable to take care of himself because his wife had passed on and now he has given up. He said then that he will never live long enough to be able to see Florida or his son or grandkids again.
It was then that I realized....Charles wasn't thinking for himself....he was letting the world around him mould him. I said to Charles...well why on earth not?? He looked at me as though I were insane. I put my hand on his shoulder and told him....if you want to see Florida again and feel the warmth of the sun on your back and lift up your grandkids...then do it....its your life Charles...you are the only one that has the right to chose for yourself......Charles looked at me...that little gleam in his eye came back....he winked and said..."you know...I think I will visit my Grandkids for Christmas!.....
So here is what I am grateful for....firstly for Charles....for teaching me the importance of loving yourself enough to realize that you have the right to think for yourself. And also for teaching me that YOU make it what it is....
I asked Charles (name changed because of HIPPA laws) how he was today.....with a big smile on his face Charles said to me..."as good as can be expected". Here he was...and 80 year old man shining without even knowing tha the was. I asked him what brought him to the doctor...he laughed and said the bus! I chuckled. I love the spirit and humor that comes with age. But then he continued....."you know, I was perfectly fine until I moved from Florida." I asked when was that....he said..."when my wife died..." "I am so sorry that you lost your wife...how long ago was that?" I asked. "At the beginning of the year."
My heart sank. I could feel his pain. A sense of dread came over me...I knew what was next. He told me that his daughter made him move to Pennsylvania. Declaring that he was not able to take care of himself. Now remember, this is a man that was able to get on the bus by himself, dress himself, cook for himself etc. But the daughter, with all good intentions, told him he could not take care of himself.
Now Charles went on....."Yes..I have a son and grandchildren in Florida". I asked "When will you be visiting then?"
Thats when he said what I knew he was going to say....."NEVER"....My heart broke. Charles has given up. He was told that he was unable to take care of himself because his wife had passed on and now he has given up. He said then that he will never live long enough to be able to see Florida or his son or grandkids again.
It was then that I realized....Charles wasn't thinking for himself....he was letting the world around him mould him. I said to Charles...well why on earth not?? He looked at me as though I were insane. I put my hand on his shoulder and told him....if you want to see Florida again and feel the warmth of the sun on your back and lift up your grandkids...then do it....its your life Charles...you are the only one that has the right to chose for yourself......Charles looked at me...that little gleam in his eye came back....he winked and said..."you know...I think I will visit my Grandkids for Christmas!.....
So here is what I am grateful for....firstly for Charles....for teaching me the importance of loving yourself enough to realize that you have the right to think for yourself. And also for teaching me that YOU make it what it is....
I am Grateful
I wanted to tell you this today.....
today was a very busy day...
I have to say though..I was so grateful for this little old man that I x-rayed at the end of the day...
riddled with cancer
but the most jovial man you would ever meet
he lifted my spirits
he thanked me and told me I had the touch of an angel...
(his son says watch out..he's a dirty old man)
but I didn't take notice of what the son said...
I have learned in life that you are given much information over the years...and you take what you can use...and leave the rest behind
I needed to be an angel today
I saw his cancer
I made him smile
that was most fulfilling for me
today was a very busy day...
I have to say though..I was so grateful for this little old man that I x-rayed at the end of the day...
riddled with cancer
but the most jovial man you would ever meet
he lifted my spirits
he thanked me and told me I had the touch of an angel...
(his son says watch out..he's a dirty old man)
but I didn't take notice of what the son said...
I have learned in life that you are given much information over the years...and you take what you can use...and leave the rest behind
I needed to be an angel today
I saw his cancer
I made him smile
that was most fulfilling for me
EMOTION
There is that usual dictionary definition of emotion: a mental and physiological state associate with a wide variety of feeling, thoughts and behviours. It is a prime determinant of the sense of subjective well being and it plays a central role in many human activities.....
I like to think of emotions as energy. Our energy or emotions can be positive or negative.
Here is something I want you to think about. Positive energy (emotion) is nearly the same as negative energy (emotion). Both are just focused in different directions. Kind of like driving a car. You can be heading in one direction but it just doesnt feel right so what do you do? You turn around and go in the opposite direction.
Some examples of emotion are anger, frustration, sadness, enthusiasm, passion etc. If you are experienceing frustration and are able to take away the circumstances that caused it, the raw emotion of frustration pretty much feels a lot like the raw energy of entusiasm...its energy just going in a different direction. And guess what folks.....YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR DIRECTION! you can go north or south...its up to you...
You may ask...well how? ...I just chose to be positive and there are no changes yet...well..my friends...lets get real here...in order for the direction to change you cannot simply say the words...I chose to be positive...you must fill your head with positive thoughts...
One suggestion for filling your head with positive emotions....is the emotion of gratitude...when you wake up every morning...take notice of all the things in life you are grateful for. Gratitude causes a natural "high". When you live appreciating all of life and what you have you find more joy and kindness in the world.
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." ~Cicero
I like to think of emotions as energy. Our energy or emotions can be positive or negative.
Here is something I want you to think about. Positive energy (emotion) is nearly the same as negative energy (emotion). Both are just focused in different directions. Kind of like driving a car. You can be heading in one direction but it just doesnt feel right so what do you do? You turn around and go in the opposite direction.
Some examples of emotion are anger, frustration, sadness, enthusiasm, passion etc. If you are experienceing frustration and are able to take away the circumstances that caused it, the raw emotion of frustration pretty much feels a lot like the raw energy of entusiasm...its energy just going in a different direction. And guess what folks.....YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR DIRECTION! you can go north or south...its up to you...
You may ask...well how? ...I just chose to be positive and there are no changes yet...well..my friends...lets get real here...in order for the direction to change you cannot simply say the words...I chose to be positive...you must fill your head with positive thoughts...
One suggestion for filling your head with positive emotions....is the emotion of gratitude...when you wake up every morning...take notice of all the things in life you are grateful for. Gratitude causes a natural "high". When you live appreciating all of life and what you have you find more joy and kindness in the world.
"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." ~Cicero
AND SO IT BEGINS
This journey of ours called life is an extraordinary journey. We are born with the instinct to fight for what we want. Examples of this are a baby crying until its diaper is changed or perhaps a baby crawling towards an object until it reaches it. Then society decides to manipulate us and to mold us into who we are today. This gives each of us limitations or makes us believe we have limitations. Some of us are happy living with limitations. Having exact routines. Doing what we are told to do. Most of those people live in what I call one of the layers of the being. Others are a bit more extraordinary then just the layers. They live through the soul. They are the core of the being rather then one of the layers. We all have the core or soul but only those that really strive to be more then just a layer can live there. We see the the soul of others but get hurt because they are not living in that soul but rather in one of the outer layers.
Look deep into yourself tonight. Think about your most unique qualities. Show the world that you shine. You are of the soul and not of the outer layers.
Feel me...I am the soul.
Look deep into yourself tonight. Think about your most unique qualities. Show the world that you shine. You are of the soul and not of the outer layers.
Feel me...I am the soul.
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